The rule of thirds

I've been here for four months now and it's probably a sign of how much more at home I'm feeling that I haven't written a blog post for a while.  I have been out of the country twice since my last post: once for a week's holiday with my lovely husband Stephen in Istanbul and again, last week, to Nepal for a work-related trip for some south-to-south regional collaboration to strengthen midwifery in Nepal and Bangladesh.  Though I thoroughly enjoyed both trips, it was nice to come 'home' to Bangladesh, to catch up with friends and colleagues and to catch up with myself.

Thus to the topic of today's blog post: the rule of thirds. I've been working internationally since 1988 and have had my share of busy jobs, both at home and abroad.  I learned the hard way about the effects of stress on one's physical and mental health; a spell in hospital with nasty eczema, back in 2010, brought a crisis of confidence in my academic career and a change in professional direction which, as it turned out, was the very best thing that could have happened. It led me back, via a circuitous route, to working globally and combining my two worlds of work: midwifery and international development.  I'm now much more careful to protect my wellbeing and do this with the rule of thirds; this works in two different ways.

Firstly, I divide each day into thirds - morning, afternoon and evening.  I know that I need to keep one of these 'thirds' free in order to function and not to burn out.  Of course, some days are more packed than others but if I'm working all day then I try not to fill the evening with more work or people-focused activities. Likewise, if I know that I will be working in the evening then I try to start work later in the morning or finish earlier in the afternoon to create the space I need to process and reflect on the day, to write my journal, to do the mundane stuff like housework and grocery shopping, to exercise and to ensure that I eat well.  I also need to prepare for the day and week ahead.  

The other 'two thirds rule' (and I honestly can't remember where this came from) is that people working cross-culturally need to ensure that they spend at least a third of their time working alongside national staff and colleagues.  In my case that means ensuring that I spend enough time with my team in Bangladesh, working in our national office, having lunch with national colleagues, learning the language and enjoying time with my Bangladeshi friends. It's too easy for expats to exist in a diplomatic or international bubble, never really connecting with the local population; the 'thirds rule' can give a useful guide. The next 'third' is spending time with people from one's own or a similar culture, especially people who have been in-country for longer than oneself and can give helpful perspective on experiences and behaviours that may be perplexing or different.  I am lucky to travel to work in a car-share with other international staff; we reflect on the challenges of the day, help each other out with practical issues and sometimes socialise together. I have also joined an international club (mainly for the pool), a choir and a faith community - these are all places where I meet other people from my own or a similar culture and help me laugh at myself and the frustrations we sometimes face being a long way from home. It was a particular joy today, to meet my friend Susan who is visiting Bangladesh.  We've known each other for almost thirty years and have both lived in Cambodia and Bangladesh; deep friendships such as these are very precious.  The final third is, of course, spending time alone to do all the things already highlighted above, to attend to one's emotional and spiritual wellbeing, and to keep friends and family up to date through video calls, social media and blog posts!

I haven't included photos in this blog but those who follow me on social media see plenty of pictures every day.  I'm travelling back to the UK for Christmas and am looking forward to seeing loved ones - especially my dog Cracker!  Bangladesh is preparing for a general election, probably in January, so life is a little unpredictable at present; the office and the roads are frequently closed and we mostly stay close to home.  Our choir has a concert on Saturday - I'm making my debut on the flute and opening the event as part of a choral sextet.  

Thank you for travelling with me on this journey and for all the love and support extended to me and my family by so many people; it means so much.