Re-entering life in the UK after three years in Bangladesh feels like stepping into a strange, beautiful, and deeply unsettling limbo. The transition isn’t just geographical; it is an emotional recalibration of purpose, pace, and presence. For thirty-six months, my world was defined by the high-stakes rhythm of global midwifery—improving outcomes for women and babies, surrounded by a warm expat community, our local choir, and the Dhaka International Christian Church. I miss the ease of that life, but far more than that, I miss the people. I miss the warmth and resilience of my Bangladeshi colleagues, the beauty of the Bengali language, and the incredible richness of the local community we were so blessed to be a part of. Yet, despite the sudden shift, this season has brought a deep joy in reconnecting with person and place—a journey I certainly haven't walked alone. I am so grateful for the unwavering support of my husband, Stephen. From following me to Bangladesh to encouraging my newest "crazy" sourdough baking venture, he remains my strongest advocate and biggest fan. Back in my home kitchen, I’ve been watching a sourdough starter I carefully carried all the way from Bangladesh bubble on the counter. I recently posted on our village page to gauge interest in sourdough baking classes and fresh loaves, and the response was overwhelming. Along with foraging for blackberries and making jam—which a local café is already selling—these small, tactile acts are helping me rediscover a sense of home that I know will carry us through whatever and wherever comes next.

The truth is, I’m living in a space defined by waiting. On the work front, I am weighing full-time roles abroad or in the UK against a portfolio career of consultancies, university lectures, and textbook writing. But more than anything, my heart and presence are needed right here for family. My mum is in the early, tender stages of dementia. While she is coping remarkably well—still active in her church and machine-sewing clothes—she needs more support now. Yet, her generous spirit endures: she still knits blanket squares for a maternity clinic in Kampala, Uganda, an extraordinary community effort where local charity shops save yarn, neighbours stitch the pieces together, and friends transport them abroad. Watching Mum navigate memory loss is painful, but I was deeply moved by a quote in a paper by Robin Thomson (Dementia and the response of churches). He reminds us that although our memories may fail us, we are held in God's memory. God does not forget us, even when we ourselves may have forgotten everything—including God. Walking the local footpaths, passing the streams where our beloved dog Cracker used to paddle, I process a complex mix of grief, joy, uncertainty, and love. I don't know what the future holds for my career or Mum’s care, but I take comfort in knowing who holds the future. For today, there is peace in a warm loaf of bread in my bag, the beauty of the countryside, and the patience to let the future unfold in its own time.

A December day in Dhaka

 I haven't written a blog post in over a year... for a mixture of reasons including lack of time, respecting the confidentiality of our work and my colleagues, and many other factors.  For some reason, however, I've decided to share a snapshot of my day this 'winter' Thursday (cooler temps, around 25c, bad air pollution - read more here).

I rise at 6.30am and spend some time journaling/reflecting before treating myself to a hot shower and wash my hair.  I am picked up by the work 'shuttle' car at 7.30am.  We stop enroute to collect 3 more passengers and reach the office by 8.20am.  Our kind office helper brings me breakfast (roti, omelette and vegetable/lentil curry) with a cup of tea. I usually have breakfast at home but ran out of time today.

I have a short meeting with my national counterpart to prepare for the day and set priorities; as it's the year-end and we must finish all our activities and spend all our allocated funds, prepare next year's workplans and get ready for a review meeting with a donor next week.  I'm leaving for a regional conference in Bali in a few days' time and will be in the UK for Christmas, so time is tight to achieve all my deadlines.

Our Swedish partners are in-country for a workshop and some field visits; they come to the office at 09.30 and we have a productive 90 minute meeting.  They are well-known to our staff so we make time for hugs and news-sharing. Afterwards, we follow up on a few action points and I need to finalise some paperwork for my trip, making sure the organisation's travel policy is followed to the letter. 

with midwives at a recent workshop

Around 12.30 we journey through the smog and traffic to the government office where we have a team supporting the national midwifery programme.  A task-force with representatives from many organisations - including a women's network - is finalising a new framework to safeguard midwives and nurses against workplace abuse and harassment. I've been part of the process for several months and it's exciting to be near the finish-line.  I work on an annex to the standard operating procedure (SOP), summarising workplace rights; many healthcare workers, especially females, are unaware of them.  

With students at a midwifery college

In the conference room, a workshop for medical statisticians is drawing to a close.  Data and evidence is vital to understand the impact of midwives and the challenges they face. Using this data, we can advocate for more midwives, and for the enabling environment they need to provide high quality care.  I am asked to close the workshop with a motivational speech.  I tell them how important their work is to saving lives, and that I use the data they collect every day. Later I reflect on the irony of the dyslexic student who failed her maths O level three times being asked to lecture an ensemble of statisticians!

We share a late lunch with the team, reflecting on the week past and the various events facilitated or attended.  Yesterday was the closing event of a large 6-year project with diplomats and ministers. Tuesday was building the capacity of midwife teachers in quality assurance. Monday we prepared for a major audit on the horizon, and Sunday each team took ownership of their activities and budget for a new project.  

Yesterday with colleagues

On with my day. At 3.30pm, an online meeting with health economists. Can they help us with a new idea? I finished the table of workplace rights for nurses and midwives - I'm more knowledgeable now about Bangladesh Labour Laws! A driver is due at 4.30pm but no car is available.  I try in vain to book an Uber - eventually I call the office and they divert the shuttle car to collect me.  This delays everyone's return home for the weekend and the journey takes 1 1/2 hours - people are frustrated so I introduce them to a game - pick cities with consecutive letters of the Alphabet - and soon we're in good spirits again with laughs all round.  Surely Oregon is a city? How about England? Our driver is unexpectedly brilliant at geography.

I reach home after 6pm and quickly finish a presentation over a cup of tea before a 2-hour session with some Masters Students. They listen attentively, we have rich conversation and knowledge exchange. I remember why I love teaching. I send some messages to family in the UK and start the blog.

At 10pm my husband returns from dinner with friends and we catch up over cups of tea and sandwiches of homemade seeded sourdough bread and cheese.  I prepare a pineapple - it's delicious. We talk about family, news from friends, choir, and the plans for this weekend: spiritual refreshment, meals shared with friends, board games, exercise, some new sourdough creations and a Christmas carol service with traditional turkey dinner. No doubt I'll be working - and packing - at times, but we'll try to create some space for rest and for each other.

Wishing you all a very happy weekend.

Looking forward to some swims

The rule of thirds

I've been here for four months now and it's probably a sign of how much more at home I'm feeling that I haven't written a blog post for a while.  I have been out of the country twice since my last post: once for a week's holiday with my lovely husband Stephen in Istanbul and again, last week, to Nepal for a work-related trip for some south-to-south regional collaboration to strengthen midwifery in Nepal and Bangladesh.  Though I thoroughly enjoyed both trips, it was nice to come 'home' to Bangladesh, to catch up with friends and colleagues and to catch up with myself.

Thus to the topic of today's blog post: the rule of thirds. I've been working internationally since 1988 and have had my share of busy jobs, both at home and abroad.  I learned the hard way about the effects of stress on one's physical and mental health; a spell in hospital with nasty eczema, back in 2010, brought a crisis of confidence in my academic career and a change in professional direction which, as it turned out, was the very best thing that could have happened. It led me back, via a circuitous route, to working globally and combining my two worlds of work: midwifery and international development.  I'm now much more careful to protect my wellbeing and do this with the rule of thirds; this works in two different ways.

Firstly, I divide each day into thirds - morning, afternoon and evening.  I know that I need to keep one of these 'thirds' free in order to function and not to burn out.  Of course, some days are more packed than others but if I'm working all day then I try not to fill the evening with more work or people-focused activities. Likewise, if I know that I will be working in the evening then I try to start work later in the morning or finish earlier in the afternoon to create the space I need to process and reflect on the day, to write my journal, to do the mundane stuff like housework and grocery shopping, to exercise and to ensure that I eat well.  I also need to prepare for the day and week ahead.  

The other 'two thirds rule' (and I honestly can't remember where this came from) is that people working cross-culturally need to ensure that they spend at least a third of their time working alongside national staff and colleagues.  In my case that means ensuring that I spend enough time with my team in Bangladesh, working in our national office, having lunch with national colleagues, learning the language and enjoying time with my Bangladeshi friends. It's too easy for expats to exist in a diplomatic or international bubble, never really connecting with the local population; the 'thirds rule' can give a useful guide. The next 'third' is spending time with people from one's own or a similar culture, especially people who have been in-country for longer than oneself and can give helpful perspective on experiences and behaviours that may be perplexing or different.  I am lucky to travel to work in a car-share with other international staff; we reflect on the challenges of the day, help each other out with practical issues and sometimes socialise together. I have also joined an international club (mainly for the pool), a choir and a faith community - these are all places where I meet other people from my own or a similar culture and help me laugh at myself and the frustrations we sometimes face being a long way from home. It was a particular joy today, to meet my friend Susan who is visiting Bangladesh.  We've known each other for almost thirty years and have both lived in Cambodia and Bangladesh; deep friendships such as these are very precious.  The final third is, of course, spending time alone to do all the things already highlighted above, to attend to one's emotional and spiritual wellbeing, and to keep friends and family up to date through video calls, social media and blog posts!

I haven't included photos in this blog but those who follow me on social media see plenty of pictures every day.  I'm travelling back to the UK for Christmas and am looking forward to seeing loved ones - especially my dog Cracker!  Bangladesh is preparing for a general election, probably in January, so life is a little unpredictable at present; the office and the roads are frequently closed and we mostly stay close to home.  Our choir has a concert on Saturday - I'm making my debut on the flute and opening the event as part of a choral sextet.  

Thank you for travelling with me on this journey and for all the love and support extended to me and my family by so many people; it means so much.

Ten weeks in...

It's now 10 weeks since I left the UK for Bangladesh.

Drinking some coconut juice this morning after water aerobics

Highlights include finding friends and a faith community, feeling more comfortable when I'm out and about, lovely colleagues and - of course - meeting midwives. I've joined an international choir and an aquarobics class so my weekends and evenings have become much less lonely. 

Church

'My' keyboard!

Coffee with midwife Sangita last week

With my friend Sharmin from Bangladesh Midwifery Society

I've discovered the library at the BAGHA club - plenty of books to keep me happy :)

It's also been a joy to have visits from some of our international partners from Swedish Universities and the International Confederation of Midwives and to know that we are journeying together. I recently took a work-related trip to Barisal in Southern Bangladesh - known as the Venice of Bengal as there is water all-around. We took a boat trip exploring some of the canals and fruit gardens (where they grow guavas and other wonderful tropical fruit) and it was so beautiful and peaceful on the water - a welcome break from the traffic, pollution and concrete jungle in Dhaka. 

On our boat trip near Barisal

Guavas we bought from a passing boat at the floating market

My colleagues preparing the fruit with the boatman's knife

 Tomorrow I leave for a week in Cox's Bazar, a popular tourist destination in the south east of Bangladesh, boasting the longest uninterrupted beach in the world. I'm not going for the tourism but for orientation to our humanitarian programmes and the midwifery team based there, for which I have oversight. Some things have been challenging too. Time is needed to settle into a new job, especially in a different culture and in a multi-cultural team. Dengue fever (a mosquito-borne virus that can have serious complications) is all around, with many colleagues and their family members being infected and hospitalised. The prevalent strain here is the dangerous one that causes bleeding and haemorrhagic shock, so I'm being extremely careful not to get mosquito bites - having already had dengue three times in the past (whilst living in Thailand and Cambodia) I certainly don't want to get it again. 

Visiting my Korean colleague Hayoung who was hospitalised with Dengue Fever

 There is also the on-going stress of being far away from my home and family, though video calls every few days help enormously. My Mum seems to be thriving and is getting fabulous support from my sisters and wider family and friends. I'm having regular language lessons though am, as yet, far from fluent! Grammar is different from that of English, with words placed in a different order in a sentence; for example 'yesterday Tuesday was', 'yes, my one person girl have' (I have one daughter) and 'all things good were'. Did you know that cuturally, Bengalis don't eat female goats, only male ones? Apparently some people can sniff goat meat and tell instantly whether it comes from a male or female :) 

 I had a wonderful time in India earlier this month, visiting my family (Uncle, Aunt, Cousins) who live in Dehradun. My Uncle is recovering well after his bilateral knee replacement and I hope to return in the new year for another mini-break. I'm trying to persuade my Mum to join me! It's only three weeks now until I meet Stephen in Istanbul and I can't wait.

With my Aunt Catherine in India 

With my cousin Jonny in India

With my cousin Sarena in India - foothills of the Himalayas behind

With my cousins and their families

Settling in

It's been five weeks since I left the UK to take up my new role as International Midwifery Specialist with the UN in Bangladesh. I am feeling more at home now, living in an apartment with two other UN staff, one Italian and one Russian. My rent (£235 per month) includes all bills and the services of a lovely maid six mornings per week. We have a washing machine, a microwave oven, kettle and toaster, two fridge-freezers and air-conditioning - positively luxurious compared to many places where I've lived before. On next week's shopping list are a small electric oven and a laundry basket! Our flat is on a quiet dead-end street by a lake and its proximity to two hotels with cafés, restaurants, spas and other facilities give us options on the doorstep when Ubers are not available (frequently!)

I made fresh pasta with my new rolling pin - it was delicious

I made pancakes for the ladies' breakfast

I've joined a church and signed up to the music group and the ladies' breakfast; joined the British social club (mainly to use the pool but my membership gives me access to various other expat clubs in Dhaka); joined a gym, bought a new phone and worked out how to use various Apps that make life here easier - Uber for getting around in taxis and CNGs (tuk tuks), FoodPanda (for groceries and fast food) and an App for the all important internet data top ups! I have also started taking Bangla language lessons. 

With Thomas, my Bangla Teacher.  We have lessons in the hotel café next to my house

 I already have many national friends from the Bangladesh Midwifery Society and it is a joy to reconnect when they are passing through Dhaka. Sharmin and her husband Jewel have given practical help in so many ways, especially sourcing things that I can't find a supermarket. I am now the proud owner of some new bedding, a rolling pin and board, waste-paper bin, wooden spoon and a reusable mug! 

With midwife Mim

Just some of the food on offer at the ladies' breakfast last Saturday

In the hotel gym

Having a manicure and hand massage at the hotel spa.  I fell asleep :)

I'm beginning to feel more confident at work too, with ideas emerging in my role leading the midwifery team. We have several partner organisations, some national and some international; each is supporting a different area of midwifery in Bangladesh. I have been familiarising myself with all of their programmes as well as that of other teams within our own organisation whose work intersects with midwives. Midwifery is our flagship programme here so the work of my amazing team has huge significance nationally and internationally. 

At a recent workshop

With Sharmin and Tuhid in my office - we've been working together for 6 years, now with me in a different role

Off to a meeting last week

I look forward to taking my first field-trips out of Dhaka soon (just as soon as my security training is complete) and my first international travel; I have booked a mini-break to Dehradun (India) in September to stay with family there (Aunt, Uncle, cousins) then an October rendezvous in Turkey with Stephen.  There may be work-related trips to Kathmandu and Athens so the next few months will fly past. I am grateful for such an amazing network of family, friends and colleagues, here and afar, travelling this journey with me. I hold you all in my heart, none more than my beloved Stephen and Hannah, who, along with all of you, make my world a better place.

My photo wall at work

Three weeks in...

It’s three weeks today since I left the UK for Bangladesh. I’ve come out of the house for the first time in 2 days after a nasty bout of D&V that took me by surprise; I have a pretty cast-iron constitution having lived and worked away for so many years. As a friend said this week, one should never underestimate Bangladesh!

I have now moved out of the hotel and am living in an apartment in Banani, part of the diplomatic area of the city and considered safe for foreigners. I’m sharing with two other UN staff, though they are both away on leave so we are yet to meet. It’s fairly basic but the landlord has promised some more furniture (I’m not holding my breath!) and I’m slowly discovering how things work around the house. A maid comes in to clean 6 mornings a week and there are a couple of hotels next door which are good places to meet people for a coffee.

As this is my first job with the UN I have a lot to learn about the rules, processes and all the acronyms. Most of the forms have now been filled, I am officially on the payroll and in the pension scheme and I’m working my way through all the mandatory training and orientation papers. I’m slowly getting a handle on my role, which includes being acting Chief of Health when my boss is away. Thankfully there is a great national team around me. Next week we’ll have a team meeting to help me understand the priorities and work on our shared vision. This week it has been good to work with a visiting team from Sweden and India, focusing on high quality midwifery education. They are introducing a new quality assurance process with the midwife teachers to help them prepare for accreditation. I know the two Swedish midwives and count them among my friends and mentors, so it’s been great to reconnect.

Last weekend I attended an international church and enjoyed lunch out together. Sadly I had to miss the meeting today as I’m still feeling a bit fragile. I have also booked my first Bangla lesson. It’s early days, but so far so good. Stephen and I are planning a rendezvous in Istanbul in October.

New job, new life, new reflections

I’ve made it through my first week in Bangladesh! 

It was emotional leaving my family just a few days after the death of my wonderful mother-in-law.  A huge thank you to all of my family and friends for supporting my decision to continue as planned and for all the practical help and messages of support received.  

With Stephen and Hannah at the airport

A tearful goodbye

With my mother in law Jean and Hannah back in January

The journey to Bangladesh was uneventful except for the delay of one suitcase which arrived promptly the following day.  I have received a warm welcome from hotel staff (I’ve stayed in this hotel many times before), from previous colleagues at the Bangladesh Midwifery Society and from my new colleagues.   A local friend came to my hotel on arrival, with a jar of her husband’s home-made mango chutney.  On my first day at work, new colleagues in the SRH team presented me with beautiful flowers and we shared singara, savoury pastries similar to samosas. The midwifery team also presented gorgeous flowers and we shared lunch and snacks together, including the delicious mangoes that are now in-season.  At yesterday’s all-staff (120 person) meeting there was a huge birthday cake to celebrate those with birthdays this month (including me!) and today some staff members brought in more singara and a shared lunch of mutton biryani and borhani – a type of lassi dessert.   The desired intention to lose weight whilst I’m here is being severely challenged! 

Flower and snacks from the midwifery team

Informal Thursday biryani party with colleagues

Highlights of the week include getting my new work e mail, ID badge and local mobile phone set up, joining a social club and having my first swim, making some lovely friends from the office car-share and looking at some apartments to rent. I’ve found a flat that looks promising and I’ll make a decision next week once I’ve seen a few more for comparison.  Social media is proving invaluable in finding properties and a national friend is kindly accompanying me for viewings to ask all the right questions.  I’ve also done lots of online training and form-filling and have begun to get a handle on who’s who and what’s what.  My office is on the 15^th floor of a tower block with great views across Dhaka and a canteen in the basement selling cheap but tasty local food. Lovely ladies keep me supplied with tea, coffee, chopped salads and prepared fruits - no problem getting my ‘five-a-day’! I also attended an informatiive event on the prevention of gender-based sex selection (again with a nice lunch!)

Welcome flowers from the SRH team

With Momtaz

With Sharmin

I’ve been reflecting on the first time I lived abroad (1988), when we relied on letters home once a week and occasional (very expensive) landline telephone calls, and the ease with which I can now keep in touch with family and friends through WhatsApp, Facetime, e mail and various other means. It’s been great to have a few video calls and to see the photos and videos of everyone’s exploits.  I’ve also had some encouraging e mails and messages from RCM colleagues which have been much appreciated. 

So, all in all, a good start.  Am I homesick?  Yes, especially knowing it’s a tough time for my family, but I’m feeling well-loved and supported, excited to be here and ready for the challenges and opportunities ahead.

Saying goodbye to Mum